Why Parents Need Their Own Advocate!
ad-vo-cate-Verb, transition:
To speak, plead, or argue in favor of
A supporter
An advocate
Stop! Stop! Stop!
1. Stop leaving your child's success to the experts (like me?)
You must advocate for your child, no-one else will. Do so with a healthy skepticism about how much the experts really understand your child. It is very important to remember that no-one knows your children like you do, and no-one will be 100% committed to them in the ways that you are.
2. Stop believing that it’s OK to just do nothing!
Doing nothing is simply not an option. It’s simply making the hole deeper.
Don’t listen to, “It will all work out,” or, “ He’ll grow out of it!” It won’t!
3. Stop beating yourself up for mistakes
* We all make them; look forward, not back.
4. Stop believing that School is your child’s friend!
Schools will always place their needs before your child’s. Stay aware of what is happening in and out of the classroom.
5 . Stop thinking that you are your child’s friend.
You are the parent; you are an advocate; you are a cheerleader; you are the shoulder to cry on; you must also become the person who will say,“No!”
6. Stop leading with your heart.
And start using your head to best support your child. If you fear something is amiss, it likely is.
7. Stop worrying about being labeled as a helicopter parent!
A true helicopter parent’s motivations are focused on the parent’s needs, not the child’s. A parent whose focus is solely on the needs of the child should be cheered for being their advocate and a coach.
Remember: If you don’t advocate for your child; no-one else will!
Now, what you need to start doing, that you have not been doing:
1. Commit to being your child’s advocate and coach.
You can advocate for your child with support, and by educating yourself.
2 Seek to really know your child
Understand your child’s profile (see #1 above)
3. Build a realistic, working profile of the child you have and love
What are his or her strengths and challenges as a student and as a person?
4. Build your team!
Surround your child with supporters that emphasize a strengths-based approach.
5. Create an individualized Parent Master Pan just to support your child
Create ongoing goals and priorities for your child. Then you need to stick to it.
6. Understand the culture of your child’s school, and how to partner with it.
Know its culture, both positive and negative.
Your Role:
You are the natural advocate for your child; no-one knows your child like you.
You will be involved with your child for life, the schools and doctors will not.
You must learn that accurate information translates into power for your child
You must ensure that the school gives your child an appropriate education.
You must build a working relationship with medical and teaching professionals
You must tactfully help teachers and doctors by educating them on your child
You must build a partnership with an advocate, such as at Confident Parenting.
Your Advocate’s Role:
We show parents how to advocate with schools, doctors,etc.
We ensure parents are provided with accurate information about their child
We guide you regarding your child’s legal rights as a student
We partner with you before, during, and after the testing and IEP process*
We monitor school for you to ensure that your child’s IEP plan is working
We help you to focus on the strengths of your child
We provide you with support in working with your child at home
We teach you to coach your child positively and effectively
We coach you in the privacy of your home using phone/ video
We do not blame and shame you as a parent; We support you 100%
We gather all needed information, and do research on your specific parenting issues
We help define problems at school and discuss solutions
We always seek a win-win solution for you with others.
How Does A Good Advocate Coach Parents For Success?
“Americans spend more time planning for their annual vacation than they do in planning their child’s future.”
Why is a plan so essential that parents develop a plan for their child?
Planning is vital; otherwise, you spend all your time simply putting out daily fires in school or at home, and without a focus on developing a long-term direction for growth.
Your Parent Master Plan:
Any plan must be strengths-based, nurturing what your child can become great at doing.
Any plan has three parts to be addressed at the same time, although the focus may change week-to-week:
1. Your child's experience in school, social and academic
2. Your child's role in the family; is the experience is largely positive or negative?
3. The quality of communication between the child, the family, school, doctors, etc.
The plan allows the parent to be in greater control, no matter what the setback.
The plan allows you to stay focused and to anticipate problems.
By offering you greater control, the plan allows you to become more relaxed and less stressed
What Is To be Found In An Effective PMP?
1. A Vision Statement that paints a picture of your child's future
2. Personal Mission Plan as to why you are working with your child
3. A Strategy for future growth-the road map that offers direction
4. The creation of Stretch Goals. These should be written as outcomes:
“ My child will be able to…
5. The Timeline that explains the needed actions and completion date for each.
Without a plan, you are leaving your child blowing in the wind.
Contact us at Confidentparentingcoaches.com for fuller information and claim:
Your child’s FREE Neurodevelopmental Informal Assessment
2. Your child’s FREE Written Profile and Report